裝在套子里的人

內(nèi)容概要

　　諷刺與幽默像同胞兄弟，相輔相承。幽默如清茶，絲絲清香，浸入心田；諷刺似咖啡，口感醇厚，直入心脾：幽默多幾分就變成了諷刺，而諷刺少了幽默，正如火柴缺了頭上的那點(diǎn)磷，很難擦出火花?！堆b在套子里的人（中英對(duì)照）》從琳瑯滿目的諷刺小說(shuō)寶庫(kù)中，精選了十余篇佳作，并配以原汁原味的英文，附有凝練生動(dòng)的作者簡(jiǎn)介，引導(dǎo)讀者在領(lǐng)略作品時(shí)，多角度、深層次地解讀莫泊桑的飽經(jīng)滄桑，歐·亨利的幽默機(jī)智，左琴科的現(xiàn)實(shí)寫(xiě)照等。篇篇精彩，字字珠磯，使讀者在體味幽默、諷刺的同時(shí)，更能讀懂人生，頓悟社會(huì)。　　為了便于讀者閱讀，書(shū)中配有契合故事情節(jié)的圖片，形象地再現(xiàn)了作品一幕幕生動(dòng)離奇、動(dòng)人心魄的場(chǎng)面，組成一個(gè)個(gè)血肉豐滿的人物畫(huà)廊、廣闊變幻的社會(huì)圖景，帶給讀者更多的審美享受和人文熏陶?！　　堆b在套子里的人（中英對(duì)照）》既是英語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)愛(ài)好者、文學(xué)愛(ài)好者的必備讀物，也是忙碌的現(xiàn)代人一片心靈憩息的家園。

書(shū)籍目錄

1 沸沸洋洋的家事The Family in a Hubbub我的叔叔于勒居伊·德·莫泊桑My Uncle Jules Guy de Maupassant帕克爾泰德太太打虎 薩基Mrs·Packletide’s Tiger Saki競(jìng)選州長(zhǎng)馬克·吐溫Running for Governor Mark Twain跳蛙埃德加·愛(ài)倫·坡Hop——Frog Edgar A llen Poe幽默家的自白書(shū)歐·亨利Confessions of a Humorist O.Henry2 幽默諷刺劇Humorous StorieS項(xiàng)鏈居伊·德·莫泊桑The Necklace Guy de Maupossant小職員之死安東·契訶夫The Death of a Government Clerk A nton Chekhov外套 果戈理The Overcoat Gogol在甲板的天篷下杰克·倫敦Under the Deck Awnings Jack London判決弗蘭茨·卡夫卡The Judgement Franz Kafka窮人的專利權(quán)查爾斯·狄更斯A Poor Man’S Tale of a Patent Charles Dickem3 想人非非的街區(qū)Fantastic People警察與贊美詩(shī)歐·亨利The Cop and the Anthem O.Henry澡堂左琴科The Bathhouse Zola變色龍安東·契訶夫A Chameleon Anton Chekhov生活的陀螺歐·亨利The Whirligig of Life O.Henry騙術(shù)埃德加·愛(ài)倫·坡Diddling Edgar A llen Poe

章節(jié)摘錄

　　我的叔叔于勒　　My Uncle Jules　　居伊·德·莫泊桑/Guy de Maupassant　　居伊·德·莫泊桑（Guy de Maupassant ,1850—1893），19世紀(jì)末法國(guó)著名小說(shuō)家，生于法國(guó)諾曼底一個(gè)沒(méi)落貴族家庭。他曾參加普法戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)，體驗(yàn)了軍隊(duì)生活，也激發(fā)了他的愛(ài)國(guó)熱情，這在他的第一篇成名作《羊脂球》中有所反映。莫泊桑富于創(chuàng)造性，描繪真切，筆法靈活多樣，富有情趣，諷刺深刻，幽默生動(dòng)，結(jié)構(gòu)嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)，語(yǔ)言優(yōu)美。代表作有《俊友》《她的一生》等。　　一個(gè)胡子花白的老人向我們乞討，我的同伴約瑟夫·達(dá)夫郎什給了他5法郎?？吹轿页泽@的表情，他說(shuō)道：　　“這個(gè)不幸的人喚起了我的回憶，我給你說(shuō)吧，我一直無(wú)法忘記這件事。你聽(tīng)我說(shuō)：　　“我家原來(lái)住在阿夫爾，當(dāng)時(shí)家境窘迫，大家僅僅是想方設(shè)法糊口度日而已。父親工作很辛苦，深夜才從辦公室趕回家，賺的錢(qián)卻很少。那時(shí)我還有兩個(gè)姐姐?！　　凹依锏娜兆尤找婢狡?，母親為此痛苦不堪，她經(jīng)常用刻薄的言語(yǔ)刁難父親，甚至指桑罵槐。而這個(gè)可憐的男人也只是保持一個(gè)姿態(tài)，讓我很傷心——他每次都把手張開(kāi)，把掌心貼在額頭上，好像要擦汗一樣，事實(shí)上哪里有汗。他總是緘默不語(yǔ)，不去還擊母親。他為自己的無(wú)能為力而感到痛苦！大家一切從簡(jiǎn)，從來(lái)不受邀赴宴，以免回請(qǐng)。家里所有的東西都是廉價(jià)品。姐姐們自己縫制禮服，為了15生丁一碼的穗帶也要貨比三家，一碗湯再來(lái)個(gè)牛肉雜燴就是一頓飯。據(jù)說(shuō)這種吃法既干凈又養(yǎng)人，不過(guò)我寧愿吃別的。　　“常常因?yàn)閬G了扣子，撕壞了褲子，我就要被大罵一頓?！　　懊恐芰?，我們一家人都穿上最好的衣服，沿著防波堤散步。父親穿上長(zhǎng)禮服，戴上高高的帽子，套上山羊皮手套，而母親則打扮得像插著彩旗度假的船只，挽著父親的胳膊。我的姐姐們，總是整裝一新，早已迫不及待地在那里等候出發(fā)的信號(hào)。不過(guò)到了最后，總有人發(fā)現(xiàn)父親的長(zhǎng)禮服上有污漬，于是不得不馬上用浸著汽油的破布揩去?！　　案赣H仍然頂著絲制高帽，露出襯衣的袖子，讓別人揩污漬。而母親也忙個(gè)不停，戴上眼鏡，摘掉手套，免得弄臟?！　　叭缓?，我們一家人就隆重地出發(fā)了。姐姐們挽著彼此的胳膊走在前面，她們都已到該嫁人的年齡，得好好展示一番。我和父親一左一右簇?fù)碇赣H。我仍記得我可憐的父母周末散步時(shí)那自命不凡的樣子，一臉嚴(yán)肅，邁著僵硬的雙腿。他們挺直身子，面容莊重，腳步僵硬地往前走，好像只有這樣才能完成他們的重任。　　“每周日，當(dāng)有從遠(yuǎn)方異國(guó)開(kāi)來(lái)的大汽船時(shí)，父親總是說(shuō)：　　“‘如果于勒在這艘船上，那該多好啊！’　　“父親的弟弟，于勒叔叔，當(dāng)初家人都疏遠(yuǎn)他，而今卻成了家里的救命稻草。我很小的時(shí)候就聽(tīng)家人談起過(guò)于勒叔叔，對(duì)他再熟悉不過(guò)了，好像見(jiàn)到他就能認(rèn)出他。盡管他的那段生活總是被大家輕描淡寫(xiě)地談及，我對(duì)他離開(kāi)美洲以前的生活的點(diǎn)點(diǎn)滴滴卻一清二楚。　　“他好像過(guò)得不怎么好，也就是說(shuō)，他曾經(jīng)揮霍了一些錢(qián)。這對(duì)一個(gè)貧困的家庭來(lái)說(shuō)，簡(jiǎn)直是犯罪。如果一個(gè)出身富有的人尋歡作樂(lè)干些糊涂事，人們頂多說(shuō)他是花花公子。而在生活窘迫的家庭里，如果一個(gè)人迫使父母花掉老本，那他就是個(gè)廢物、無(wú)賴、流氓。盡管做的事沒(méi)有區(qū)別，但事情后果的嚴(yán)重性成為了二者唯一的區(qū)別?！　　帮@然，于勒叔叔在把自己那份遺產(chǎn)揮霍掉后，父親應(yīng)得的那份也大大減少了。然后，依照當(dāng)時(shí)的慣例，他被送上了一艘由本地開(kāi)往紐約的貨輪，前往美洲?！　　耙坏侥抢?，叔叔就開(kāi)始做買(mǎi)賣(mài)，很快寫(xiě)信回來(lái)說(shuō)自己賺了一小筆錢(qián)，希望能補(bǔ)償以前給父親造成的損失，這封信在家里引起了不小的波瀾。以前大家都說(shuō)于勒是個(gè)廢物，現(xiàn)在一下子變成了大好人，一個(gè)心地善良的人，真正的達(dá)夫郎什人，忠誠(chéng)正直?！　　耙粋€(gè)船長(zhǎng)告訴我們，于勒叔叔租了一家大店鋪，在做一筆重要的生意?！　　皟赡曛螅诶帐迨鍖?xiě)來(lái)了第二封信，他寫(xiě)道：‘親愛(ài)的菲利普，此次寫(xiě)信是為了讓你不要為我的健康擔(dān)心，我很好，生意也不錯(cuò)。明天我就要遠(yuǎn)行到南美。我可能離開(kāi)幾年，會(huì)和你失去聯(lián)系。如果沒(méi)有收到我的信，不必?fù)?dān)心。交了財(cái)運(yùn)，我一定會(huì)回阿夫爾。希望那一天不會(huì)讓我等待太久，我們一家人又幸福地生活在一起……’　　“這封信成了全家人的《福音書(shū)》，大家靜靜地讀著它，拿給所有人看?！　　罢?0年，再也沒(méi)聽(tīng)到于勒叔叔的消息。但是隨著時(shí)間的流逝，父親的希望也變得強(qiáng)烈起來(lái)，母親也經(jīng)常說(shuō)：　　“‘要是好心的于勒在這里，我們的境況將截然不同。他可是個(gè)有本事的人啊!’　　“到了周日，父親望著吐著濃煙的大汽船從地平線上開(kāi)來(lái)時(shí)，總是重復(fù)著同樣的話 ：　　“‘如果于勒在這艘船上，那該多好??！’　　“大家都期望他揮著手帕，喊道：　　“‘嗨，菲利普!’　　“大家盤(pán)算過(guò)無(wú)數(shù)個(gè)于勒叔叔回來(lái)后的計(jì)劃，甚至，我們還想用于勒的錢(qián)買(mǎi)一幢靠近安谷韋爾的鄉(xiāng)村小別墅。事實(shí)上，我覺(jué)得父親肯定與人商議過(guò)此事?！　　拔业拇蠼隳菚r(shí)28歲了，二姐26歲，都還沒(méi)嫁人，而這一直是家人的心病?！　　白詈笥腥讼蚨闱蠡榱?，他是個(gè)職員，不富有，但還算體面。我一直從心底里堅(jiān)信那是于勒叔叔的信的功效。一天晚上，我把它拿給他看，他立刻向二姐求婚了。　　“二姐立刻接受了他的求婚，大家決定婚禮后就去澤西島旅行?！　　皾晌鲘u是窮人的理想旅行勝地，不遠(yuǎn)，乘汽船去要過(guò)海，途經(jīng)異國(guó)國(guó)土，因?yàn)槟莻€(gè)小島屬于英國(guó)。這樣，法國(guó)人只要兩個(gè)小時(shí)就可以在家看到外國(guó)，了解他們的風(fēng)土人情。　　“澤西島之行吸引著我們，那是我們唯一的期待和不變的夢(mèng)想?！　　敖K于，我們起程了。我依然覺(jué)得一切恍如昨天。輪船在格朗維爾碼頭駛出；父親手忙腳亂地監(jiān)督著三包行李上船，母親則緊張地挽著我未出閣的姐姐的胳膊，自從一個(gè)姐姐出嫁后，她就像掉了魂似的，這樣，另一個(gè)姐姐就如同雞窩里的最后一只小雞，變得極為珍貴了；我們后面是對(duì)新婚夫婦，時(shí)常惹得我回頭張望。　　“汽笛響了，我們上了船，船離了岸，在大理石般的海面上駛向前方?？吹胶０断г谖覀兊囊曇爸畠?nèi)，大家都很開(kāi)心、驕傲，好像我們都很少旅行似的?！　　案赣H的肚子，掩在大禮服內(nèi)，而禮服上的污漬在當(dāng)天早晨已被人仔仔細(xì)細(xì)擦拭干凈了。他的周?chē)l(fā)出趕集市才能聞到的汽油味，那味道總使我覺(jué)得那天是周日。突然，他看到兩個(gè)紳士正請(qǐng)兩位穿著優(yōu)雅的女士吃牡蠣。一位衣衫襤褸的老水手撬開(kāi)了它的殼子交給兩位紳士，他們跟著又交給那兩個(gè)女士。 她們姿態(tài)優(yōu)雅地吃起牡蠣來(lái)，一面用精美的手帕托起了牡蠣，一面又向前伸著嘴巴以免弄臟裙子。隨后迅速地喝了牡蠣汁，把殼子扔到海里?！　　霸谝凰揖従徯旭偟妮喆?，她們吃牡蠣的優(yōu)雅姿態(tài)，顯然吸引了父親那艷羨的目光。他覺(jué)得那樣體面而優(yōu)雅，于是走到母親和姐姐那邊，問(wèn)道：　　“‘你們?cè)敢庾屛艺?qǐng)你們吃牡蠣嗎？’　　“因?yàn)橐ㄥX(qián)，母親猶豫起來(lái)，但是兩個(gè)姐姐馬上表示贊同。母親有些幸災(zāi)樂(lè)禍地說(shuō)：　　“‘我怕鬧肚子。給孩子們買(mǎi)些吧，不要太多，否則他們吃了會(huì)生病?！缓筠D(zhuǎn)身對(duì)著我，說(shuō)道：　　“‘約瑟夫嘛，就不要吃了，不要慣男孩子?！　　耙虼宋伊粼诹四赣H身邊，但我覺(jué)得這種區(qū)分是不公平的。我的目光跟隨著父親，只見(jiàn)他高傲地帶著兩個(gè)姐姐和他的女婿走向那位衣衫襤褸的老水手?！　　澳莾晌慌縿傋唛_(kāi)，父親便教兩個(gè)姐姐怎樣吃牡蠣而不使汁流出來(lái)。他甚至想做出個(gè)樣子，于是他托起個(gè)牡蠣，試著模仿那兩位女士，牡蠣汁一下子全灑到了他的外套上。我聽(tīng)見(jiàn)母親嘀咕著：　　“‘安安分分多好?！　　暗蝗?，父親好像不安起來(lái)。他后退了幾步，眼睛死死地盯著圍在牡蠣販子周?chē)慕憬愫团?，然后快步向我們走?lái)，臉色蒼白，表情怪異，小聲對(duì)母親說(shuō)：　　“‘好奇怪啊，那個(gè)牡蠣販子看起來(lái)像于勒?！　　澳赣H呆住了，問(wèn)道：　　“‘哪個(gè)于勒??？’　　“父親接了話：　　“‘我的弟弟啊。如果我不知道他在美洲發(fā)了財(cái)，還真的以為那就是他呢?！　　澳赣H緊張起來(lái)，結(jié)結(jié)巴巴地說(shuō)道：　　“‘你瘋了！既然知道那不是他，還要說(shuō)這樣的傻話？’　　“但父親仍然固執(zhí)己見(jiàn)：　　“‘過(guò)去看看，克拉麗斯！我想讓你用自己的眼睛證明一下?！　　澳赣H起身走向兩個(gè)女兒。我也看著那個(gè)人，他又老又臟、滿臉皺紋，眼睛一直盯著手里的活。　　“母親回來(lái)了。我發(fā)現(xiàn)她渾身顫抖。她尖叫著，上氣不接下氣地喊道：　　“‘肯定是他，我確信。為什么不去問(wèn)問(wèn)船長(zhǎng)？但是小心點(diǎn)，免得那個(gè)無(wú)賴又來(lái)占我們的便宜!’　　“父親走開(kāi)了，我異常激動(dòng)地跟著他?！　　按L(zhǎng)是個(gè)長(zhǎng)得又高又瘦的人，留著金色的胡須，正一臉嚴(yán)肅地沿著船橋散步，就像在指揮一艘開(kāi)往印度的郵船?！　　案赣H彬彬有禮地走上前去，一面問(wèn)著他船上的事，一面對(duì)船長(zhǎng)大加恭維道：　　“‘澤西島的主要特點(diǎn)在哪里？出產(chǎn)什么？ 人口怎么樣？習(xí)俗呢？土質(zhì)怎么樣？’等等諸如此類的問(wèn)題?！　　啊銈冞@里的牡蠣販子倒是蠻有趣的。你知道他的底細(xì)嗎？’　　“船長(zhǎng)開(kāi)始煩躁起來(lái)，冷冷地答道：　　“‘那是去年我在美洲碰到的一個(gè)法國(guó)老流浪漢，我把他帶了回來(lái)。他好像在阿爾夫還有親戚，但是他不愿到親戚那里，因?yàn)樗匪麄冨X(qián)。他叫于勒——于勒·達(dá)夫曼什或是達(dá)夫朗什，總之是和這個(gè)差不多的姓。好像以前在國(guó)外發(fā)過(guò)財(cái)，而現(xiàn)在您看見(jiàn)他這般落魄潦倒?！　　案赣H頓時(shí)臉色蒼白，嗓子發(fā)啞，兩眼無(wú)精打采，嘟噥著說(shuō)：　　“‘啊，啊，很好，很好。我一點(diǎn)也不驚奇。多謝船長(zhǎng)?！　　八x開(kāi)了，船長(zhǎng)吃驚地看著他走開(kāi)。他回到母親身邊，神色憂郁地對(duì)她說(shuō)道：　　“‘坐下吧，快有人看出來(lái)了?！　　八幌伦影c坐在長(zhǎng)凳上，結(jié)巴著說(shuō)：　　“‘是他，是他!’　　“然后他問(wèn)道：　　“‘怎么辦？’　　“她立刻回答：‘我們必須把孩子們引開(kāi)。既然約瑟夫知道了，讓他去把他們引開(kāi)。我們必須小心點(diǎn)，不要讓女婿察覺(jué)?！　　案赣H好像完全愣住了，喃喃自語(yǔ)道：　　“‘大禍臨頭了!’　　“母親突然變得異常惱怒，尖叫道：　　“‘我一向認(rèn)為這個(gè)扒手做不了什么好事，總有一天又會(huì)來(lái)揩我們的油！怎么能指望從他的身上得到什么!’　　“父親用手摸著額頭，好像母親責(zé)備他一樣。母親又說(shuō)：　　“‘把錢(qián)給約瑟夫，讓他把牡蠣錢(qián)付了?，F(xiàn)在，只差這個(gè)叫花子把我們認(rèn)出來(lái)了。那樣，就有好戲看了！我們?nèi)ゴ穷^吧，小心不要讓他靠近我們!’　　“他們給了我5法郎就走了?！　　敖憬銈兂泽@地等著父親，我告訴她們母親突然有點(diǎn)暈船，我問(wèn)牡蠣販子：　　“‘我們?cè)摳抖嗌馘X(qián)，先生？’　　“我想笑，他是我叔叔！他答道：‘兩個(gè)半金法郎?！　　拔夷贸鑫业?法郎，他把零錢(qián)找給了我。我看著他的手，那是一雙干癟、爬滿皺紋的水手的手。我又望著他那張憂傷蒼老的臉，心里在說(shuō)：　　“‘那是我的叔叔，父親的弟弟，我的叔叔!’　　“我拿了10個(gè)銅子給他做小費(fèi)。他謝我道：　　“‘上帝保佑你，少爺!’　　“那語(yǔ)氣就像窮人接受施舍一樣。我不禁想起他肯定在美洲討過(guò)飯！姐姐們望著我，我的慷慨使她們驚呆了。我把2法郎還給了父親，母親吃驚地問(wèn)道：　　“‘要花3個(gè)法郎嗎？不可能啊!’　　“我以堅(jiān)定的口氣答道：　　“‘我給了他10個(gè)銅子的小費(fèi)?！　　澳赣H突然盯著我，喊道：　　“‘你瘋了！把10個(gè)銅子扔給那個(gè)懶蛋——’　　“父親指了指女婿，向母親使了個(gè)眼色，母親馬上住了口。然后所有的人都不做聲了。　　“遠(yuǎn)方地平線上，一片紫色的陰影仿佛從海面升起，展現(xiàn)在我們面前，那里就是澤西島?！　　翱斓椒览说虝r(shí)，我心里涌起了一個(gè)強(qiáng)烈的念頭，想再次見(jiàn)到于勒叔叔，走進(jìn)他，說(shuō)幾句安慰貼心的話。但是早已無(wú)人吃牡蠣了，他也不見(jiàn)了蹤跡，可能跑到窮人住的骯臟的地方去了吧?！薄　 white-haired old man begged us for alms. My companion, Joseph Davranche, gave him five francs. Noticing my surprised look, he said:　　“That poor unfortunate reminds me of a story which I shall tell you, the memory of which continually pursues me. Here it is:　　“My family, which came originally from Havre, was not rich. We just managed to make both ends meet. My father worked hard, came home late from the office, and earned very little. I had two sisters.　　“My mother suffered a good deal from our reduced circumstances1, and she often had harsh words for her husband, veiled and sly reproaches. The poor man then made a gesture which used to distress me. He would pass his open hand over his forehead, as if to wipe away perspiration2 which did not exist, and he would answer nothing. I felt his helpless suffering. We economized on everything, and never would accept an invitation to dinner, so as not to have to return the courtesy. All our provisions were bought at bargain sales. My sisters made their own gowns, and long discussions would arise on the price of a piece of braid worth fifteen centimes a yard. Our meals usually consisted of soup and beef, prepared with every kind of sauce. They say it is wholesome and nourishing, but I should have preferred a change.　　“I used to go through terrible scenes on account of lost buttons and torn trousers.　　“Every Sunday, dressed in our best, we would take our walk along the breakwater. My father, in a frock coat, high hat and kid gloves, would offer his arm to my mother, decked out and beribboned3 like a ship on a holiday. My sisters, who were always ready first, would await the signal for leaving; but at the last minute some one always found a spot on my father’s frock coat, and it had to be wiped away quickly with a rag moistened with benzine.　　“My father, in his shirt sleeves, his silk hat on his head, would await the completion of the operation, while my mother, putting on her spectacles, and taking off her gloves in order not to spoil them, would make haste.　　“Then we set out ceremoniously. My sisters marched on ahead, arm in arm. They were of marriageable age and had to be displayed. I walked on the left of my mother and my father on her right. I remember the pompous air of my poor parents in these Sunday walks, their stern expression, their stiff walk. They moved slowly, with a serious expression, their bodies straight, their legs stiff, as if something of extreme importance depended upon their appearance.　　“Every Sunday, when the big steamers were returning from unknown and distant countries, my father would invariably utter the same words:　　“‘What a surprise it would be if Jules were on that one! Eh?’　　“My Uncle Jules, my father‘s brother, was the only hope of the family, after being its only fear. I had heard about him since childhood, and it seemed to me that I should recognize him immediately, knowing as much about him as I did. I knew every detail of his life up to the day of his departure for America, although this period of his life was spoken of only in hushed tones.　　“It seems that he had led a bad life, that is to say, he had squandered a little money, which action, in a poor family, is one of the greatest crimes. With rich people a man who amuses 　　himself only sows his wild oats. He is what is generally called a sport. But among needy families a boy who forces his parents to break into the capital becomes a good-for-nothing, a rascal, a scamp. And this distinction is just, although the action be the same, for consequences alone determine the seriousness of the act.　　“Well, Uncle Jules had visibly diminished the inheritance on which my father had counted, after he had swallowed his own to the last penny. Then, according to the custom of the times, he had been shipped off to America on a freighter going from Havre to New York.　　“Once there, my uncle began to sell something or other, and he soon wrote that he was making a little money and that he soon hoped to be able to indemnify my father for the harm he had done him. This letter caused a profound emotion in the family. Jules, who up to that time had not been worth his salt, suddenly became a good man, a kind-hearted fellow, true and honest like all the Davranches.　　“One of the captains told us that he had rented a large shop and was doing an important business.　　“Two years later a second letter came, saying: ‘My dear Philippe, I am writing to tell you not to worry about my health, which is excellent. Business is good. I leave to-morrow for a long trip to South America. I may be away for several years without sending you any news. If I shouldn’t write, don’t worry. When my fortune is made I shall return to Havre. I hope that it will not be too long and that we shall all live happily together...’　　“This letter became the gospel of the family. It was read on the slightest provocation, and it was shown to everybody.　　“For ten years nothing was heard from Uncle Jules; but as time went on my father’s hope grew, and my mother, also, often said:　　“‘When that good Jules is here, our position will be different. There is one who knew how to get along!’　　“And every Sunday, while watching the big steamers approaching from the horizon, pouring out a stream of smoke, my father would repeat his eternal question:　　“‘What a surprise it would be if Jules were on that one! Eh?’　　“We almost expected to see him waving his handkerchief and crying:　　“‘Hey! Philippe!’　　“Thousands of schemes had been planned on the strength of this expected return; we were even to buy a little house with my uncle’s money—a little place in the country near Ingouville. In fact, I wouldn’t swear that my father had not already begun negotiations.　　“The elder of my sisters was then twenty- eight, the other twenty- six. They were not yet married, and that was a great grief to every one.　　“At last a suitor presented himself for the younger one. He was a clerk, not rich, but honorable. I have always been morally certain that Uncle Jules’ letter, which was shown him one evening, had swept away the young man’s hesitation and definitely decided him.　　“He was accepted eagerly, and it was decided that after the wedding the whole family should take a trip to Jersey.　　“Jersey is the ideal trip for poor people. It is not far; one crosses a strip of sea in a steamer and lands on foreign soil, as this little island belongs to England. Thus, a Frenchman, with a two hours’ sail, can observe a neighboring people at home and study their customs.　　“This trip to Jersey completely absorbed our ideas, was our sole anticipation, the constant thought of our minds.　　“At last we left. I see it as plainly as if it had happened yesterday. The boat was getting up steam against the quay at Granville; my father, bewildered, was superintending the loading of our three pieces of baggage; my mother, nervous, had taken the arm of my unmarried sister, who seemed lost since the departure of the other one, like the last chicken of a brood; behind us came the bride and groom, who always stayed behind, a thing that often made me turn round.　　“The whistle sounded. We got on board, and the vessel, leaving the breakwater, forged ahead through a sea as flat as a marble table. We watched the coast disappear in the distance, happy and proud, like all who do not travel much.　　“My father was swelling out his chest in the breeze, beneath his frock coat, which had that morning been very carefully cleaned; and he spread around him that odor of benzine which always made me recognize Sunday. Suddenly he noticed two elegantly dressed ladies to whom two gentlemen were offering oysters. An old, ragged sailor was opening them with his knife and passing them to the gentlemen, who would then offer them to the ladies. They ate them in a dainty manner, holding the shell on a fine handkerchief and advancing their mouths a little in order not to spot their dresses. Then they would drink the liquid with a rapid little motion and throw the shell overboard.　　“My father was probably pleased with this delicate manner of eating oysters on a moving ship. He considered it good form, refined, and, going up to my mother and sisters, he asked:　　“‘Would you like me to offer you some oysters?’　　“My mother hesitated on account of the expense, but my two sisters immediately accepted. My mother said in a provoked manner:　　“‘I am afraid that they will hurt my stomach. Offer the children some, but not too much, it would make them sick.’ Then, turning toward me, she added:　　“‘As for Joseph, he doesn’t need any. Boys shouldn’t be spoiled.’　　“However, I remained beside my mother, finding this discrimination unjust. I watched my father as he pompously conducted my two sisters and his son-in-law toward the ragged old sailor.　　“The two ladies had just left, and my father showed my sisters how to eat them without spilling the liquor. He even tried to give them an example, and seized an oyster. He attempted to imitate the ladies, and immediately spilled all the liquid over his coat. I heard my mother mutter:　　“‘He would do far better to keep quiet.’　　“But, suddenly, my father appeared to be worried; he retreated a few steps, stared at his family gathered around the old shell opener, and quickly came toward us. He seemed very pale, with a peculiar look. In a low voice he said to my mother:　　“‘It’s extraordinary how that man opening the oysters looks like Jules.’　　“Astonished, my mother asked:　　“‘What Jules?’　　“My father continued:　　“‘Why, my brother. If I did not know that he was well off in America, I should think it was he.’　　“Bewildered, my mother stammered:　　“‘You are crazy! As long as you know that it is not he, why do you say such foolish things?’　　“But my father insisted:　　“‘Go on over and see, Clarisse! I would rather have you see with your own eyes.’　　“She arose and walked to her daughters. I, too, was watching the man. He was old, dirty, wrinkled, and did not lift his eyes from his work.　　“My mother returned. I noticed that she was trembling. She exclaimed quickly:　　“‘I believe that it is he. Why don’t you ask the captain? But be very careful that we don’t have this rogue on our hands again!’　　“My father walked away, but I followed him. I felt strangely moved.　　“The captain, a tall, thin man, with blond whiskers, was walking along the bridge with an important air as if he were commanding the Indian mail steamer.　　“My father addressed him ceremoniously, and questioned him about his profession, adding many compliments:　　“‘What might be the importance of Jersey? What did it produce? What was the population? The customs? The nature of the soil?’ etc., etc..　　“‘You have there an old shell opener who seems quite interesting. Do you know anything about him?’　　“The captain, whom this conversation began to weary, answered dryly:　　“‘He is some old French tramp whom I found last year in America, and I brought him back. It seems that he has some relatives in Havre, but that he doesn’t wish to return to them because he owes them money. His name is Jules—Jules Darmanche or Davranche or something like that. It seems that he was once rich over there, but you can see what’s left of him now.’　　“My father turned ashy pale and muttered, his throat contracted, his eyes haggard.　　“‘Ah! ah! very well, very well. I’m not in the least surprised. Thank you very much, captain. ’　　“He went away, and the astonished sailor watched him disappear. He returned to my mother so upset that she said to him:　　“‘Sit down; some one will notice that something is the matter.’　　“He sank down on a bench and stammered:　　“‘It’s he! It’s he!’　　“Then he asked:　　“‘What are we going to do?’　　“She answered quickly:‘We must get the children out of the way. Since Joseph knows everything, he can go and get them. We must take good care that our son-in-law doesn’t find out.’　　“My father seemed absolutely bewildered. He murmured:　　“‘What a catastrophe!’　　“Suddenly growing furious, my mother exclaimed:　　“‘I always thought that that thief never would do anything, and that he would drop down on us again! As if one could expect anything from a Davranche!’　　“My father passed his hand over his forehead, as he always did when his wife reproached him. She added:　　“‘Give Joseph some money so that he can pay for the oysters. All that it needed to cap the climax would be to be recognized by that beggar. That would be very pleasant! Let’s get down to the other end of the boat, and take care that that man doesn’t come near us!’　　“They gave me five francs and walked away.　　“Astonished, my sisters were awaiting their father. I said that mamma had felt a sudden attack of sea-sickness, and I asked the shell opener:　　“‘How much do we owe you, monsieur?’　　“I felt like laughing: he was my uncle! He answered: ‘Two francs fifty.’　　“I held out my five francs and he returned the change. I looked at his hand; it was a poor, wrinkled, sailor’s hand, and I looked at his face, an unhappy old face. I said to myself:　　“‘That is my uncle, the brother of my father, my uncle!’　　“I gave him a ten-cent tip. He thanked me:　　“‘God bless you, my young sir!’　　“He spoke like a poor man receiving alms. I couldn’t help thinking that he must have begged over there! My sisters looked at me, surprised at my generosity. When I returned the two francs to my father, my mother asked me in surprise:　　“‘Was there three francs’ worth? That is impossible.’　　“I answered in a firm voice,　　“‘I gave ten cents as a tip.’　　“My mother started, and, staring at me, she exclaimed:　　“‘You must be crazy! Give ten cents to that man, to that vagabond—’　　“She stopped at a look from my father, who was pointing at his son-in-law. Then everybody was silent.　　“Before us, on the distant horizon, a purple shadow seemed to rise out of the sea. It was Jersey.　　“As we approached the breakwater a violent desire seized me once more to see my Uncle Jules, to be near him, to say to him something consoling, something tender. But as no one was eating any more oysters, he had disappeared, having probably gone below to the dirty hold which was the home of the poor wretch.”

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　　一家報(bào)紙第二天又刊登了一樁更新鮮、恐怖又狠毒的案例，并嚴(yán)厲地控訴我，說(shuō)我放火燒毀了一座瘋?cè)嗽?，院里的病人無(wú)一幸免，起因是它擋住了我家看風(fēng)景的視線。這讓我惶惶不可終日。后來(lái)，又有人控告我毒死自己的叔叔，霸占了他的財(cái)產(chǎn)。他們還極為嚴(yán)肅地要求開(kāi)棺驗(yàn)尸。我真的要崩潰了?！　　R克·吐溫《競(jìng)選州長(zhǎng)》　　他生第一次沒(méi)有去上班。第二天他照常去了部里，臉色蒼白，穿著那件愈發(fā)襤褸的舊“罩衫”。雖然仍有些人不會(huì)放過(guò)任何取笑亞卡基耶維奇的機(jī)會(huì)，可外套被偷的遭遇還是觸動(dòng)了很多人，大家當(dāng)即決定為他募捐。然而為了響應(yīng)部長(zhǎng)的號(hào)召，大家已經(jīng)花了大筆的錢(qián)訂購(gòu)局長(zhǎng)的肖像和部長(zhǎng)朋友的書(shū)籍了，因此募得的錢(qián)寥寥無(wú)幾?！　　昀怼锻馓住贰　∥乙呀?jīng)脫光了衣服，還能把號(hào)牌放在哪里呢？真是沒(méi)有地方??！沒(méi)有口袋，看看自己，光著上半身，腿也是光著的。這兩個(gè)號(hào)牌真是令人頭疼，你總不能將它們系在胡子上吧！好吧，我將號(hào)牌系在了腿上，一條腿一個(gè)，以防兩個(gè)同時(shí)丟失。我走進(jìn)浴室，兩個(gè)號(hào)牌在我的腿上啪啪直響。這樣走路真是很煩人，可你又不得不走，還要去找澡盆。沒(méi)有澡盆怎么洗澡呢？真是麻煩啊！　　——左琴科《澡堂》

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